


Out of My Mind

by TwilightMaster15



Series: Mock Execution Fails [4]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Disabled Character, Doctors & Physicians, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Head Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Procedures, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22918987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightMaster15/pseuds/TwilightMaster15
Summary: When a gun is fired, whether there is a bullet or not, a shockwave is released, which is near fatal for anyone in extremely close range, like one Light Yagami, whose skull was fractured, and some pieces wound up in his brain, causing severe damage.After being in a coma for a while, Light finds that while he still has the ability to think like himself, he is confined to a wheelchair and all motor functions and sensory processing are extremely impaired. Essentially trapped in his own mind and helpless, Light isn't sure whether to fall to despair or feel a whole new level of stir crazy. Constant therapies don't help, and all he can do is hope the experimental treatment for brain damage will work.At least he has L, who is doing everything he can to help without being overbearing, and feelings begin blooming between them.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Series: Mock Execution Fails [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646050
Comments: 7
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

L sat by Light's bedside, holding his hand. The beeping of a heart monitor was dully irritating, and yet L feared every second he couldn't hear the wretched shrill noise. He looked down at the bandages on Light's head and knew that he was going to have a bizarre haircut when he woke up from where the doctors had needed to operate.

If he woke up.

Rewind to a week ago, when L had come up with an in hindsight terrible plan which would force Light or Misa's hand if one or both of them was Kira. He had believed in all certainty that Chief Yagami would die before his weapon was fired. Soichiro had understood that but had thought he would be able to pull the trigger.

This was why some places in America required people to take tests before being given access to firearms, instead of detectives who had forgotten the critical detail of _shockwaves_.

After talking to Light through the car, he had quickly noticed that his friend seemed to be in pain, and when he actually got to the task force headquarters, L had seen the tiniest of details but was deadly.

He noticed blood in Light's ears, and one of his eyes was much more dilated than the other. And as he explained the necessity of the handcuff, he noticed there was a sheen of sweat on Light's forehead. But it was Misa's angry shrieks that were the final straw before Light straight-up collapsed, startling L enough that he stumbled a little too.

And then everything was a blur, and the next thing L knew, doctors were telling him and Mr. Yagami that Light's skull had fractured and pieces had wound up in his brain. He needed surgery immediately. Later, they found out the shockwave from the blank had been the cause.

Which led to now, Light had been in a coma for a week and showed no signs of waking up. He had been moved from the hospital to the task force headquarters, and L hired the best doctors in the world to tend to him. And when L said there were no signs of him waking up, he meant Light had only scored a four on the GCS, which was just barely above the lowest score that wasn't brain dead.

Blanks were dangerous, lesson learned. But it had been realized too late, and the doctor said that even if Light did wake up, there was no doubt other issues would arise. Some potential problems which could appear included but were not limited to a permanent vegetative state; seizures; vertigo; paralysis of facial muscles or losing sensation in the face; loss of one or more of his senses; swallowing problem; dizziness; the list went on. 

And then if that wasn't bad enough, the idea Light would no longer be the person he used to be. Personality changes, or loss of that extraordinary intelligence. And for L, who had finally found someone who could be considered his equal, selfishly hoped that at the very least Light's brilliance remained.

Looking around Light's room, he saw there were countless gifts since it had quickly gotten out that Light Yagami, the brilliant son of Chief Soichiro Yagami, had suffered a severe head injury and wound up in a coma. Nobody knew any details, just that there was an accident, and Light might not get out of it alive. But L growled a little, having gone through the gifts delivered and noticed most of them were love letters and girls saying they would be by his side. L had shamelessly burned those notes, but he left the flowers be.

What L did know about Light and had learned was Light had a liking for seashells, so he left a seashell on Light's nightstand, one every day he remained in a coma. It was all he could do, and every time he tried working on the case, he found himself coming back here. Sometimes he would sit there and talk about the investigation, knowing Light probably couldn't hear him.

He brushed his thumb absently on Light's hand. At the moment, Light had been turned on his side to avoid blood clots, and he looked dead, skin ashen, and the rise and fall of his chest hard to pinpoint.

"Oh, you're here."

Misa's voice snapped L out of his thoughts, and he looked up at her with tired eyes, "Hello, Misa-San. I came to visit Light-Kun."

Misa scoffed, "It's not like he's going to be killing people while in a coma, so how about you get back to catching the real Kira?"

"I'm allowed to take breaks from time to time." L knew Misa hated him, and frankly, she was so unbearably annoying that he found that while actively hating her required too much energy that could be put towards catching Kira, he did dislike her. There was a mutual animosity between them, but worry for Light was something they shared, so for Light's sake, they hadn't attacked each other yet. But if she talked one more time about how she and Light were going to get married when he woke up, L was going to kick her with no regrets.

He noticed a small leather notebook in her hands, "What's that?"

Misa looked down at the notebook, sitting next to L, and he saw there were little heart stickers on it, "It's a coma diary. I've been writing down everything that happened since Light... so when he wakes up, he can catch up on everything he missed."

That was actually kind of sweet. Not that L was ever going to admit it, much preferring to say nothing. He knew it probably consisted of lots of "I love you" and sentimental crap along those lines instead of useful information. However, seeing as Light had gotten his skull fractured and had brain damage, having facts thrown at him the moment he awoke was not the best idea.

Misa looked down at Light with wet eyes, her body trembling, "When do you think he's going to wake up?"

"I don't know," L replied, "But I like to believe he's too stubborn to actually die, and he will wake up to help us catch Kira and clear his name."

But he didn't know who he was trying to convince—Misa to make her shut up and not start bawling dramatically on him, or himself to prevent fear and guilt from crashing down on him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was another two miserable weeks before Light showed any improvement on the coma test. Some brain scans had come in and revealed the frontal lobe had taken the most damage—which wasn't surprising given where the gun had fired—but the rest was a mess too. That was bad, very bad, because the frontal lobe taking damage meant that Light might be gone, replaced with a new person entirely. All the genius, memories, emotional processing...

That friendship might be gone if Light lost all concept of being able to feel. 

So L found himself grieving, fearing that while the body might wake up, the young man who had been his friend was dead. Died thinking that he would be remembered as a murderer...

It was clear the task force had given up hope that Light would wake up as the boy he used to be. It was even more doubtful that he would wake up at all. It was around the one month mark when people started wondering if the patient would wake up, and it had been three weeks now, and all that showed for it was a measly 6 out of 15 on the coma test. He responded a little to pain in making the tiniest of sounds and the most minimal of eye movements. That was _it_. And that meant only when doctors were shoving needles in his arms and hooking him up to things. 

L couldn't even stand to be in the room when doctors had to give Light baths, seeing him so unresponsive and immobile.

The task force was just as unmotivated as L was, knowing that Light could die at any day, it had reached a point where they couldn't take the stress anymore and just wanted an answer. Were they going to need to put up with a shell of Light, or would he perish as a whole? 

L sometimes joked to himself that Misa's constant babbling at his bedside would make Light wake up to shut her up. Sometimes he would let his mind wander into those fantasies of Light having some struggles but the person he was remaining intact.

It was another eight days, and L observed a family meeting of the Yagami family. Because Mr. Yagami often left to discuss matters involving Light, L had asked Watari to place a couple cameras and wiretaps back in the household, in the living room and kitchen area.

He watched as Sachiko wept on her husband's shoulder at the idea of maybe it was time to pull the plug on Light. He had been comatose for twenty-nine days, perhaps it was time to let go. Sayu pleaded with her parents to have faith in Light and give him a little more time. 

And L knew that if Light was going to get the plug pulled on him, he had to work fast. It no longer mattered, he was going to wake Light up.

This is what led him to call yet another doctor, this one from a small clinic in Seattle, Washington. She wasn't particularly well known or famous, but L had met her a couple times due to his own issues when he was young, and Watari called her. He didn't know what the doctor could do for a coma patient, but it was worth a shot.

And after a week passed, he regretted not calling her in sooner. Dr. Keller had some experimental treatments for brain damage that she wanted to try, and L gave her free rein to do what had to be done for Light.

By the eighth day, Light was starting to respond to stimuli again and had scored a nine, meaning his status had moved from severe to moderate. 

"If he's going to wake up, it's going to been soon." Dr. Keller said to Mr. and Mrs. Yagami, gesturing to Light, "These next few days will be crucial for his recovery." Soichiro sobbed, actually hugging the doctor as he finally had some hope of his son waking up.

"Thank you."

Aizawa gave L crap for not calling this doctor sooner, but in his defense, he hadn't really thought about the idea of experimental treatments until he heard Light could get the plug pulled on him. 

Three days later, L walked in to check on Light and found himself staring into a pair of unfocused cocoa-colored eyes. He wasn't able to say anything, and Light didn't speak a word, staring blankly at him for about five minutes before falling asleep. L smiled. There was still a chance Light had been Kira previously, but the killings had continued, and Light had been in a coma until now. Forty days. 

"Just keep fighting, Light, you're getting there."

OoOoO

It was another five days until Light was able to be awake for long periods, and it was unfortunately in this time that they discovered all the issues Light now had, such as motor functions and sensory processing suffering. He was lucky, beyond lucky, that surgeries on his eyes after the explosion in his face had managed to save him from being blinded, but he did need to wear glasses, and with how often they got dirty, Light was driven a little insane by that.

By the end of the week, it became clear Light couldn't talk or walk, and he couldn't feed himself or take himself to the bathroom. Extremely inconvenient, Light figured, because thinking of it as the tragedy it was made it real, and he didn't want realism to bother him while Kira, the magical mass murderer he had been wrongfully accused of being, was on the loose. 

His arms and hands were pretty stiff, but he could mash the buttons on a remote. He couldn't hold a spoon or a pencil without dropping it. And his balance was a disaster, since his body tended to move on its own agenda, with feet sometimes kicking out unexpectedly and arms occasionally flailing, connecting with whatever was close by—a stack of CDs, a bowl of soup, a vase of tulips.

Not a whole lot of control there.

And it was a huge pain, because while his body may not have been all too functional except for his right hand—the only damn thing he could control consistently—his mind was still intact. And he still had his pride about him, so it was humiliating that he had to wear a damn diaper or that Misa was hellbent on helping him bathe. Honestly, of all the people who had volunteered to help him, L was the least bad of the options, and he counted his blessings that L was the one put in charge of taking care of him the majority of the time.

He was resentful of L, however, because it was the detective's damn test that put him in this situation. Fortunately, L seemed to know this and didn't say anything as he assisted. The only reason L was a better option was that Light felt super awkward if anyone on the task force did it. With L, who could easily pass as an eighteen-year-old, it was a little less like he was being stared at by someone much older than him. Sure, he had no idea how old Ryuzaki actually was, but it was the thought that mattered.

He wanted to be angry at his father for actually going through with this whole plan, but seeing as his poor father nearly broke down in tears every time he laid eyes on what had become of his son, he figured he'd suffered enough.

But they all treated him as though his mind had been damaged just like his body had; he hated it. Yes, he had been in a coma for forty days, and thinking for too long gave him migraines, and he had memory gaps. What of it? He was still smarter than the majority of people on the task force.

It was that last detail about his issues that really bothered him. Yes, not being able to do much of anything with his body was dreadful, and while he knew he was going to _really_ be feeling the despair once the case was solved and he had to re-enter society, it was the memory gaps that kept him awake at night.

Small memories were faded, but he still knew who he was. But if he had to estimate, it was around late November that the memory gaps started getting really bad, like he would forget days on end. While typical for some people, Light was known for his photographic memory, and he could remember every detail, keeping it all crammed inside his head. He even remembered stupid stuff, like the feel of a lump of oatmeal, stuck on the roof of his mouth. So to forget whole days bothered him more than anyone would imagine.

Sometimes, when the day was particularly awful, and everyone was treating him like a vegetable and nothing more, he wondered if he could find a way to tell L about the memory gaps and would be executed as Kira. Certainly better than living a life like this. He wasn't suicidal, per se, but also wondered why they couldn't have just pulled the plug on him or maybe that shockwave killing him outright. It was less "I want to die" and more "surviving that like _this_ was cruel."

Unfortunately, he couldn't tell L about the memory gaps anyway since he couldn't even speak. And Ryuzaki had been the one to figure out that Light still had his brains about him, so he would probably see any confession as the "put me out of my misery" plea it was.

At least Dr. Keller was kind and also quickly picked up on the fact Light was still in there. She wanted to make sure Light was entirely readjusted and out of his coma to start an experimental treatment for brain damage referred to as neurofeedback. Light had never heard of that treatment, and apparently, the goal was to retrain the brain back into normalcy, or close enough. Apparently, it had shown promise, having helped some kids with personality disorders, but downright skull fragments having wreaked havoc in the brain would be a new thing.

Three more days until he would be given the okay. All he could really do all day was lay in bed and listen to audiobooks and music to pass the time, or Misa would come to talk at him and vow her eternal love. Light honestly appreciated the fact she didn't know he was still in there since after saying for the umpteenth time that they and the family they were going to build would get through this, she would realize he wasn't able to respond and would leave.

It wasn't that he had lost his voice or was mute. He just really struggled to actually be able to move his mouth to get the words out. He could still make sounds.

L came in, "Light," he sat him up, "I think I found a lead, but I need your opinion." Light forced a sigh out with effort because it was so weird that L had to come to him and ask for opinions if he wanted to get involved in this case at all. It took him a moment to look at the computer and process what the words were. He winced at the brightness since that was another common trigger of his migraines, and L turned it down. Yotsuba... growth... that sounded like a lead. He made a little sound to confirm that it looked promising, and L smiled bitterly. 

"I'll talk to Dr. Keller about trying to start that treatment tomorrow. I've missed having you around headquarters. I hope Misa hasn't been too much of a bother today." Light shook his head the tiniest amount, which could be mistaken for a reflex, and he was glad that his body was allowing him a little more control right now. Honestly, it had reached a point, especially when he got his migraines, that he slept through most of the day.

Honestly, if this treatment was going to work, he hoped the ability to move his facial muscles of his own accord would be the first thing to come back because then he could speak and tell people he was still there.

At least L knew. And this last week awake had shown Light that L genuinely hadn't known this would happen, and wouldn't have considered the mock execution if he had thought about it. So the world's greatest detective had been taken down a peg after seeing that even he could make stupid mistakes. It figured the world's greatest detective makes the world's greatest fuck ups, and Light would be extremely amused by that fact if he wasn't on the receiving end of said royal fuck up.

"I hope this neurofeedback thing helps you, Light." L said, "Do you want anything?" He handed Light a little keyboard, and each key had a signal for a request. Light pressed the button for some water, and L nodded, "As you wish. You're a stronger man than me, Light-Kun." He left, and Light felt himself slowly lowering on the bed.

_I might be for now, but let's see what the future brings._


	3. Chapter 3

Doctors. Where did he start? Dr. Keller was the only one who really got him. The others were clearly hired by L or his parents, trying to figure out how to get a paycheck on a basketcase.

From what he had read in Misa's coma diary, he'd seen dozens of doctors, even when he was technically awake but not yet aware. They all tried to analyze him and figure him out. He already knew none of them could fix him, so in the few days waiting for neurofeedback treatment to begin, he usually ignored them and acted like the mentally challenged person they thought he was. He pasted on a blank look focused on one wall and pretend their questions were too hard to understand. It was what they expected anyway.

While it was the general consensus to see if neurofeedback provided any results, Mom had suggested one more appointment to see if his IQ was still intact. While Light himself did want to know this, he already knew the answer, and he couldn't help but be slightly hurt that after coming out of a coma, the first concern was if he would still be at the top of his class.

Dad was the one to take him so L could work on the case, wheeling him in, locking the brake so Light's wheelchair would not roll and made sure the lap strap was fastened. When the seat belt comes undone—and it did occasionally—he slid out of that wheelchair and flopped onto the floor, which was both humiliating and extremely frustrating.

"My name is Dr. Takahashi," this new Doctor said in a booming voice. "We're going to play a game today, okay? I'll ask you some questions, and you get to play with the toys here. Won't that be fun?"

Light sighed, already knowing it would be a long, _long_ hour.

He brought out a stack of well-used wooden blocks, "Can you stack these in order according to size?" he said loudly and slowly as if Light were hard of hearing or really stupid.

But of the two of them, who was being stupid? If Dr. Takahashi paid any attention to his medical records at all, he would know there had been skull fragments in his brain, which had rendered him with extreme motor impairments. That wasn't the goal here, but Light already knew full well from the instructions on how this would end. At this point, he didn't blame his parents for thinking he was a vegetable if doctors were so dense to forget this important detail. 

Of course, he knew which block was bigger than the other. But he couldn't stack them if he was paid money! So he just took his arm, which he had slightly more control of today, and swept them all to the floor. They fell with a clatter. He tried not to laugh, unable to pick them up, but trying regardless and achieving nothing more than a slight twitching.

Next, Dr. Takahashi held up glossy eight-by-ten cards with different colors painted on each one. "Tell me when you see the color blue, Light," he said in that voice that made it clear he thought this was all a waste of time.

When the blue card showed up, he pointed to it and made a noise. "Buh!" it was all he could get out, and if he could only control his facial muscles, that would make this so much easier. It was driving him insane, unable to function independently, and treated as though he was less than.

"Marvelous! Tremendous! Stupendous!" Dr. Takahashi shouted. He praised Light like he had just once again passed the test to get into college. If he could have rolled his eyes, he would have.

Then he showed green, so Light kicked and made a noise, but his mouth can't make the 'G' sound. The Doctor looked disappointed.

He scribbled something on his clipboard, pulled out another stack of cards, then said, loudly, "I'm going to ask you some questions now, Light. These might be hard, but do your best, okay?"

Light just looked at him and waited while placing the first set of cards in front of him. "Number one. Which one of these is not like the others?"

Did he get this stuff from _Sesame Street?_

He showed pictures of a tomato, a cherry, a round red balloon, and a banana. He was probably looking for the balloon as the answer, but that just seemed too easy. Light pointed to the banana because the first three were round and red, and the banana was not.

Dr. Takahashi sighed and scribbled more notes. "Number two," he said. He showed four more cards. This time there were pictures of a cow, a whale, a camel, and an elephant. "Which animal gives birth to a calf?"

Light looked up with an expression he hoped was like the one he used to use all the time of "are you stupid?!" He knew for a fact that all the animals he had pictured there had babies called a "calf." _I thought doctors were supposed to be smart. What to do?_ He hit each picture slowly and carefully, then did it once more to make sure he was understood. Not that it mattered.

Light heard Dr. Takahashi mumble "cow," as he wrote more notes. It was clear he was giving up, and Light managed to get out a groan.

Even though he had been to college for years, Dr. Takahashi would never be smart enough to see inside of Light's mind. So he put on his handicapped face and took his mind back to playing tennis with L, the first person on his level. The only one who could challenge him...

But how where was he? It was L's fault, but Light couldn't help but wonder if this was his fault by setting off the radar of the world's greatest detective. There was no point in thinking back on the past when he had been able to walk and talk and be acknowledged for his mind, dreaming of becoming a police officer. He had already accepted not even neurofeedback if it worked at all, would give him his life back since any physical handicap ruined his chances of following his lifelong goal.

He was continuously amazed at how people had begun to assume he couldn't hear them. They talked about him as if he was invisible, figuring he was too hindered to understand their conversation. He learned quite a bit about his condition this way. 

But this conversation was really awful. That bastard doctor didn't even try to soften the news for Dad, who, surely, felt like he got hit by a truck.

Dr. Takahashi began by clearing his throat. "Mr. Yagami," he then said, "It is my diagnosis that Light is severely brain-damaged and profoundly retarded. I'm sorry, but he lost his intelligence in the accident."

 _Whoa!_ He felt a thud in his gut, both exasperated that someone who called himself a doctor would say such things, annoyed because he was probably smarter than the one calling him retarded, and deeply hurt like there was a knife in his gut. Even though he knew it wasn't true, even hearing someone say that brought tears to his eyes, making it harder to see than even without his glasses.

Dad gasped, then said nothing for a full minute. Finally, he took a deep breath and protested quietly, "But I know he's fine. He has to be..."

"You love him. It's only normal to have wishful thinking," Dr. Takahashi told him gently.

"No, he has a spark. More than that—a flame of real intelligence. I know it," Dad insisted, sounding a little stronger.

"It takes time to accept the limitations of a beloved child. He was severely brain-damaged, Mr. Yagami." Wait, so this guy had read his file, therefore knowing his physical limitations, and still didn't adapt for that?! Light felt a little better about himself if someone this clearly stupid was giving a "diagnosis." Besides, he was sure either Dr. Keller or even L could disprove this since they considered physical limitations.

"I know that better than anyone, 'Doctor'!" Dad snapped with ice in his voice, the enunciation of 'doctor' making it sound extremely sarcastic, which caught Light off guard. "But a person is so much more than the diagnosis on a chart!"

Dr. Takahashi looked from Dad to Light. He shook his head, then said, "You're lucky he can smile and laugh. But Light will never be able to walk on his own or speak a single sentence. He will never be able to feed himself, take care of his own personal needs, or understand anything more than simple instructions. Once you accept that reality, you can deal with the future." That was just downright mean. A dark part of Light's mind wanted Kira to kill this man, knowing how many improper diagnoses he must have given and ruined lives. And while he hated Kira with everything he had for putting him in this situation, he didn't bring himself to regret such thoughts.

Dad hardly ever cried. But he did that day. He cried and cried and cried. Dr. Takahashi had to give him a whole box of tissues. Both of them ignored Light while he sobbed, and Dr. Takahashi tried to find nice words to say to make Dad feel better. He didn't do a very good job.

Finally, he gave his options. "You and your wife have several decisions to make," he told Dad. "You can choose to keep him at home, or you can send him to a special school for the disabled. There aren't many choices here locally."

Dad made a sound that could have been the mewing of a kitten. He was losing it.

Dr. Takahashi continued. "You can also decide to put Light in a residential facility where he can be cared for and kept comfortable." He pulled out a colorful brochure with a smiling child in a wheelchair on the cover and handed it to Dad. Dad trembled as he took it.

"Let's see," the Doctor said, "Light is, ah, eighteen now. That's a good age for him to adjust to a new environment since he would be in college around now. You and your wife can get on with your lives without him as a burden. In time, his memories of you will fade."

Light stared at Dad frantically. He didn't want to be sent away. Was he a burden? He didn't try to think about it like that. Maybe it would be easier for them if he weren't around. He gulped. His hands got cold. No... L would keep him around, right? He wasn't a burden...

_Right?_

Dad wasn't looking at him. He was staring daggers at Dr. Takahashi. He crumpled up the tissue he held and stood up. "Let me tell you something. There is no way in heaven or hell that we will be sending Light away to a nursing home!"

Light blinked. _Was this Dad?_ He blinked again, and he was still there, right up in Dr. Takahashi's face with a look of murder in his eyes. Light flinched, remembering that look and begging for his life when he was on the receiving end of it, and now he was here in a wheelchair.

Dad wasn't finished. "You know what?" he said as he angrily hurled the brochure into the trash can. "I think you're cold and insensitive. I hope you never have a child with difficulties—you'd probably put it out with your trash!"

Dr. Takahashi looked shocked.

"And what's more," he continued, "I think you're wrong—I know you are! Light has more brains hidden in his head than you'll ever have; despite those fancy degrees from fancy schools that you've got posted all over your walls!"

It was the Doctor's turn to blink.

"You've got it easy—you have all your physical functions working properly. You never have to struggle just to be understood. You think you're smart because you have a medical degree?"

Dr. Takahashi was wise enough to keep his mouth shut and ashamed enough to lower his head.

Dad was on a roll. "You're not so intelligent, sir—you're just lucky! All of us who have all our faculties intact are just blessed. Light can figure out things, communicate, and manage in a world where nothing works right for him. He's the one with true intelligence!"

He marched out of his office then, rolling Light swiftly through the thick doors. In the hall, we did a quick fist bump—well, the best he could manage. His hands were no longer cold.

"Let's pretend that didn't happen," Dad said, "I might not know what's going on in your head, but there is no way that awful man is correct."

Over the little while of being awake, L had proved to the task force that Light was aware of his surroundings and people. Proving he was still brilliant was harder, but at least Dad wasn't on the brink of sobbing every time they were in the same room together and thinking he catatonic.

But he knew Dr. Takahashi's bogus diagnosis had affected Dad deeply, not because he believed it was true, but because that was his deepest fear.

Light had to admit it had the same effect on him, but he managed to keep it inside until he was back in his room and laid down on his bed in pajamas. Dad had explained what was said and how clearly biased it was, and everyone agreed that it was a load of bullshit and decided to see how Dr. Keller's treatment would go.

L came in to check on Light, "Hello, Light-Kun."

Light couldn't turn from where he laid on his side, but even if he could, it wasn't like he could say anything. He might as well just be a floating brain without a body for all the good his body did him.

"I heard about the appointment," Ryuzaki sat down next to him, placing his hand on Light's, "Nobody believed it. Sayu-Chan actually laughed at how ridiculous the idea was. I already am working to have that man fired from his profession."

He wanted to thank L, but the words wouldn't come out, and those words that he was retarded rang in his head, and he finally let go, beginning to sob, and made small shocked noises when L pulled him close in an embrace.

"You're going to get better," L assured him, "Tomorrow, you'll begin treatments, and I looked at previous patients, so I have faith that you will at least improve motor functions and be able to talk again. Part of me wants to have you go back there once you can talk again, so you can tell him off."

Light laughed a bit, relaxing in L's warm hold, doubting his chances of ever getting better, but he was willing to cling onto that hope for as long as he could.


	4. Chapter 4

Neurofeedback was not what Light expected.

Being hooked up to some machines monitoring brain waves? That made sense, but then he had strange glasses on top of his glasses, and just... watching television? He turned his head a bit to silently ask the question, and Dr. Keller chuckled, sitting down with him,

"You'll see how this worked, but I figured out what parts of your brain need to be worked on, and we are going to use this to train your brain into normalcy. How it works is that as you watch, the brightness and volume will change with your brainwaves, and your brain will work to get the settings back to where you are comfortable, training it. You will be doing this for an hour, and they laid down to rest since it probably will give you a headache during your first couple sessions."

That was interesting. Light tapped his wheelchair, grateful he had realized last night that he could use morse code since he maintained control of one hand. Dr. Keller wrote down what he was saying to translate,

"Will this fix you? I don't know for sure since this is experimental, and you are a much more severe case. And I can't promise you anything, since I highly doubt you will go completely back to normal. My goal is to help you move your facial muscles to talk at least by the end of the year. Walking or control over the rest of your body will take much longer."

Light slumped a bit, but at least talking was good. He didn't even pay attention to what movie he picked for the experiment, knowing he probably should, but the only thing he could really think about was having been called retarded. It wasn't true, and everyone knew it, but that word echoed through his head and cut deep, bringing tears to his eyes.

He shouldn't think about such things. He would be able to prove that prick wrong. He could probably go back today with morse code and give that son of a bitch a piece of his mind. And it did feel like a massive weight off his chest to realize he could use morse code and actually remembered how to do so. The memory was faded, and he only knew basic words, so he would have to study, but he was sure he could do it if it meant he could be actually useful in this case.

OoOoO

L absently worked on the case, but he knew his mind wasn't fully in it. Once he had discovered the lead with Yotsuba, everything was beginning to unravel at the seams for Kira. That was, of course, if L could actually bring himself to do anything with this information.

Light captured his attention. He remembered this morning to find Light tapping on the nightstand, not smiling, but L could see in his eyes that he was elated. For Light to be able to communicate, even if it wasn't by talking, was a huge step up, and once the rest of the task force saw it, any doubts about Light being in there still would be gone.

Soichiro seemed to have figured out Light was at least still a person and not just a shell, but whether he knew that all of Light's mind was still intact was unclear.

As awful as he felt about Light's disability, and of course, the confirmation Light most likely hadn't been Kira, L couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Light had simply lost his powers and had a plan to get them back. Would he even be able to? Depending on how this ability worked, it may work regardless, or perhaps it would only work for someone who wasn't disabled. 

Would Light lose it if he were to voice these ponderings aloud? He supposed if he went about it the right way, Light would be curious too about how exactly this worked, so he didn't see much harm in it. But just to be safe, he would wait until Light had made progress in recovering.

Sayu came bounding in, "Hey! Whatcha doing?" L sighed, having given up on keeping Light's little sister out of headquarters. She wanted to see her brother, and since Light wasn't available, the next course of action for Sayu was to come to check on her father and the rest of the investigative team.

"Looking at leads towards Kira," L replied, "Right now, it seems Kira is in the business world." Sayu rolled her eyes,

"Because of course he is." Matsuda snorted a little bit in laughter, and even Aizawa was chuckling a bit at the remark.

"Only thing that would have shocked me less," Sayu rolled her eyes, "Is if Kira was a politician." 

"Politicians were the first place I looked," L replied, "All of them seem like they would do anything for Kira if it meant maintaining their wealth, lives, power, and such, but I would assume none of them actually are Kira. They wouldn't take that risk when Interpol brought me on board within a week."

They all turned when they saw Light had brought himself downstairs since he could move his wheelchair around since it was electrically powered. Misa came running in,

"I tried to bring him to his room to lay down, but he came over here."

L cocked his head, "What is it, Light-Kun?"

Light came over, and towards everyone else, he examined what L was looking at, looked at his father, and tapped the table. L quickly realized Light was saying, **"Hi, Dad."**

Soichiro was clearly shocked by this, and everyone was gathered around him to see if that had really just happened. Matsuda gaped,

"Light, did you just talk?! Well, morse code, but still talking!"

**"Yes."**

Soichiro had a hand over his mouth as though he was trying to hold back a sob, and Misa said something about needing to learn morse code and ran off to find a book. Sayu was beaming,

"That's progress, Light! I knew you were still in there!"

**"Yes."**

"So you know basic words?" L asked, "And I assume you plan to learn more and become fluent."

 **"Yes."** He gasped softly when he was then crushed into a hug by his father, who was holding him, and he melted into the embrace.

L felt a weight off his chest because surely Light would feel better now that he could communicate, and studying morse code would give him something to do when he couldn't help investigate.

He noticed Light wince and realized he had probably skipped the resting after neurofeedback so he could come to talk to them, and he stood with Light, "You should probably get some rest for your headache, Light-Kun."

Light didn't fight him, following by his side and leaning close when L picked him up out of his wheelchair.

"Do you need anything? Water? Maybe a bath later?"

Light's face turned red in embarrassment as L gave him the keyboard for simple requests like that, tapping bath and water.

"Do you...?" L didn't want to directly state that Light couldn't take himself to the bathroom, but he knew Light was aware of what he was asking. He confirmed that he didn't need that right now, tapping water again. "I'll get you water," he took off Light's glasses, setting them on the nightstand and heading to the kitchen to get water.

When he came back, he saw Light had fallen asleep. He softened, pulling up the comforter so he would be warm.

"Sleep well, Light-Kun," he whispered, "Everything will get better soon."


End file.
